"A man's face is not a rich person's lawn; you are wasting resources if you devote that much energy to trimming your beard, sideburns, or mustache just so. Nor is a man's face the woods; there need not be the tangled weeds, shrubbery, and wildlife/eggs benedict that get ensnared in them."  
Ellie Kemper

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"My brother and sister had a much worse childhood, I think, because they were older, and they had to deal with a lot more racism because they grew up in the '70s and I grew up more in the '80s. So they had to deal with crosses being burned on their lawn and their dogs being poisoned."  
Mariah Carey

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"Inauguration Day is like two ships passing in the night: the new staff moving in while the other walks out, taking one final look at the White House lawn as they leave with their cardboard box of possessions." 
Dana Perino